Month: September 2015

All the vain things

~ cultivatingandcreating ~ Leave a comment

I’ll admit it – I am easily charmed.

Fluffy bunnies, smooth advertising slogans, a well-made slice of cake, a fabulous shade of lipstick – it really doesn’t take much to win me over. If it is shiny and wonderful then I would like a piece of it.

Neither am I one for self-discipline and so I will readily capitulate to a variety of these temptations on an almost daily basis.

I remember when fragranced ironing water first came on the market. I’m sure there’s a proper name for it, but it’s basically nice smelling water to put in your steam iron instead of the regular stuff from the tap. Watching the tv advert I thought it was utterly absurd. The clothes were already clean from the washing machine, why on earth did they need extra smelly water?!

Fast forward a few days and I found myself wandering past the ‘new product special offer’ section in the supermarket and began to have a different conversation with myself.

You know sometimes the clothes may be clean, but there is still that slightly stale smell when you iron them. Perhaps you should just try it. It might be lovely. Go on, pop the bottle in the trolley. There, that was easy.

I travelled another few aisles before having another, more stern conversation with myself and returned the ironing water back to the shelf.

Please hear me – if you are a person with ironing water in your cupboard, there is no judgement here. This was one tiny luxury that I denied myself on one miraculous day. My home is filled with many other charming and unnecessary things that I have scooped up and brought home, and if you ever came and inspected my belongings (please promise me you won’t ever do that) you would be horrified by the amount of stuff that I couldn’t possibly resist.

It’s because of these quirks (surely not flaws) in my character that I’ve always found it a challenge to sing the line in the famous hymn, “All the vain things that charm me most, I sacrifice them to his blood.”

Ouch.

shoppingI think we’ve established that there are many vain things in my life and I’ll confess right now that they charm me a great deal. And so I would sing that line with a slight grimace and promise the Lord that I would, yes I definitely would (or at least I’d try to) purge myself of these charms and live a more monastic and holy life.

Until recently I had never made a connection between these lines and the first two lines of this same verse.

Forbid it Lord, that I should boast

Save in the death of Christ my God.

All the vain things that charm me most

I sacrifice them to his blood.

Yes indeed forbid it Lord that I should boast, for I am British and that is most unbecoming. What’s more, as a member of a Celtic nation, boasting may see me excommunicated from my people. So Lord, I can sing this line quite easily, because boasting is vulgar and I don’t do it, really.

And then, just recently, the Lord whispered something to me in response.

What about the vain things?

Yes I know, the vain things! I’m sacrificing them.

Ok I’m not. But I’m trying.

Sometimes.

They are how you boast.

Not with words, but with things.

Everything you take more pride in, show more joy towards than me. Every time you are more concerned with how you look, or what they’ll think than you are with what I’m saying to you. When you take more care over everything external than you do with the internal, then you are boasting in something other than me.

Ah. I see it now.

I see the time and effort I put into things that have no eternal consequence. The care and attention I give to parts of my life that do not truly matter.

Those things are not necessarily wrong in and of themselves, and many of them bring me delight and pleasure. But when they take up too much space in my life and my thoughts then something is out of balance.

And so from now on I will sing this verse recognising that I boast every day in things other than Jesus and that he asks me to sacrifice my vain and shiny trinkets so that his radiance might be seen more clearly, by me and through me.

Forbid it Lord, that I should boast

Save in the death of Christ my God.

All the vain things that charm me most

I sacrifice them to his blood.

Full Laundry, Fresh Style – Update

~ cultivatingandcreating ~ Leave a comment

About a month ago I wrote a post about my new clothing regime: Full Laundry, Fresh Style, the basic idea of which was that I would do no more laundry until I had worn all of my clothes!

Laundry pinterest

I am now five weeks into this scheme and so I thought I’d give you a little update.

Firstly, before you are too shocked by the fact that I have five weeks of clothes (and counting…) in my wardrobe and start judging me for my Imelda Marcos-like tendencies, let me point out that as I started at the end of summer I have been using both summer and autumn clothes during this time. There are definitely things that, once laundered, will not go back in the wardrobe but rather be tucked away again until next summer. Similarly there are a few things that are coming into the wardrobe now that’s it’s getting cooler which were away in a drawer since the start of spring. Also, there are obviously lots of items, particularly trousers and skirts, which have been worn more than once.

That being said – I do have a lot of clothes. What’s more, I don’t absolutely love them all.

And so my mind begins to turn to what I am learning from this process and what I might do differently at the end of it. Given that an estimated £140 million worth of used clothes goes to landfill in the UK every year (some of which has travelled via charity shops and hasn’t been sold), I don’t want to return to my default setting of sending things out the door in a donation bag and think that this lets me off the hook. However I do feel the need to simplify, at least a little. I think a clothes swap may be in order.

There have been a few wonderful benefits along the way.

  1. My default pair of jeans were in need of retiring to the ‘gardening clothes’ category and I wondered if I could make it through the challenge without going to buy another pair. Lo and behold, deep in the darkest recesses of my wardrobe was another pair of jeans that had, at one point or another, fallen out of favour but which were in perfectly good nick. They are the new default jeans.
  2. I really haven’t felt too bereft of visiting in my beloved charity shops. Because I’ve had more variety in the clothes I am wearing every day I therefore haven’t felt the need to add a little something new by shopping.
  3. I’m entering the skirt phase. I have quite a few skirts which I like but don’t wear often. Now that the summer trousers have all been worn and the jeans are in the wash, bring on the skirts!
  4. Hardly any laundry.

I think I can probably get another 2-3 weeks out of this plan if I can make things match and tie together ok. I’ll keep you posted!

Confessions of a Listaholic

~ cultivatingandcreating ~ Leave a comment

Hello, my name is Tara and I’m a listaholic.

I am a maker of lists. I don’t just mean the usual lists of grocery shopping or things that I need to get done at work on any given day. I am a maker of lists on an industrial scale. I have lists for work, lists for when I come home, a list on my phone for Christmas and the beginning of a list for an activity next year. I have lists coming out of my ears.

Even today, on a mid week day off after a working weekend, a day that I have been anticipating for rest and relaxation, there is a list. And a list that keeps being added to.

Last night I began to ask myself some questions about that. What is that all about? On your list of things to do, why do you even write down a reminder to do your #100happydays picture for Instagram?! Why does it matter that much? Who would notice, who would care, if something slipped off the list or didn’t get done?

I would know.

And the eldest child, big sister part of me would be quite unhappy. Responsibility and dependability are what we bring to the party. If that goes, what will people think? That I’m unreliable or, god forbid, lazy? That won’t do.

But I’m tired and weary and my body and soul just want a rest. Down time. No lists!

In the back of my mind I know that even if I set the list aside there would still be the spectre of Really Should. You have a whole day off, you really should do the hovering. Look at the mess in the kitchen, you really should tidy it up. All those things on the list you just set down – you know you really should do them!

I give in to Really Should all the time and, you know what? She’s a bully. And if you give into bullies then they just keep bullying. But if you confront them, they often have no power at all.

“Oh yeah, Really Should – who says so? That’s right – no one.”

No one says I really should except for me.

So here’s what I’m going to do today – I’m going to gag Really Should and embrace Really Must. I really must sit for a while and do nothing but stare out the window, allow silence to fill my world and let my soul be entirely at rest. I really must go outside for a walk, take time to smell the roses and listen to the birdsong. I really must resist the temptation to add those things to my list!

I don’t anticipate throwing the list out entirely as I’m not sure that going cold turkey would be helpful and might induce panic. But I am determined not to let the list beat me over the head. I want to find the ability to truly rest, while still embracing the fact that I am someone who likes some order and to get stuff done. Can I do that?

Am I alone in this lunacy? Does anyone relate to a Life of Lists with a side order of Really Shoulds?

If you’re out there perhaps we can form a support group. I’ll add that to my list.

Whatever is lovely

~ cultivatingandcreating ~ Leave a comment

Earlier this year I attended a workshop during a conference where we were encouraged to think about our strengths and passions through a series of activities. One exercise involved looking at a range of postcards, each of which named a strength, and picking the one that resonated most with us and then reflecting on some questions. I selected ‘appreciation of excellence and beauty’ and sat down to ponder – and it’s something I’ve been mulling ever since. How is this a strength? What is it good for? Encouragement for people who have done something excellent or beautiful? I hope so. But is there more to it than that?

Recently I was reminded of some verses that I love, but have now come to see with fresh eyes. “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4

The surprising and joyful thing that I found afresh in theses verses is the second half of the list. Things that are true, noble, right and pure would seem to be obvious exhortations for us as God’s people, because those seem holy, righteous and all very Christian. But the fact that we are also encouraged to focus on what is lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, with equal measure to the first half of the list, means that there must be some holiness and righteousness baked right in to those things too, right?

Maybe it seems very obvious to you reading this, and I am just thoroughly dense, but until recently I hadn’t fully appreciated the true value in loveliness. I knew that God was the creator who made all things good and beautiful and so of course, seeing his creation made me feel connected to him and brought worship to my soul. But there’s something more to it than that. When I see something lovely or excellent, not just in nature but also man-made, there is a specific type of joy that rises in me, a declaration of ‘yes’ that waters my parched being in a particular way. Admiring an extraordinary painting, an exquisitely made dress or a beautiful building evokes an awe-filled wonder. Somehow, however, I had the impression that this reaction was, dare I say, shallow and that appreciating something simply because of its loveliness was not very worthy, indeed perhaps a little too worldly.

I’ve started to realise how wrong I was. If I’m made in the image of a creator God, who took delight in all kinds of creativity, who did everything with excellence, why would I not be wired to find joy and wonder in what’s around me? Why would those things not bring me incredible pleasure? Setting my attention on what is praiseworthy unlocks something of the Father’s heart in me and for me.

Sunday brought a specific moment of clarity in this. I was exhausted from a busy week and a working weekend and I had a half hour meltdown. Just one of those moments of being overwhelmed and tearful for no one reason that I could put my finger on, but feeling all at sea.004 I came into our little conservatory and sat looking out to the garden. We have a shrub with beautiful purple flowers just outside the window, and the branches were swaying gently in the wind. I looked at the glorious colour, even more radiant in the sunshine, watched as a bee trundled his way around the circumference of the bloom and noticed the contrast of the fir green and sky blue behind this picture.

And peace descended.

In a matter of moments there was calm and a restoration of joy. A simple act of setting my attention on what was lovely had extraordinary impact.

Beauty has a gentle power all of its own. In the midst of a world that can feel dark and dangerous, in the middle of a day that is full of confusion, in a moment that is heartbreakingly empty or impossibly full, taking time to appreciate something that is beautiful can restore some equilibrium.

And so I am making a pledge.

At a time when the loudest voices seem to draw our attention to all that is wrong, I will instead be one who praises that which is excellent. When people draw my attention to the ugly side of life, I will seek out the loveliness. And when I see something that is worthy of praise and admiration, I will call attention to it, draw a crowd around it and together we will take off our shoes and stand on holy ground.